Before I start, this post was the one I was most excited about and I was so enthusiastic about writing it and so impatient to publish it. But I found myself taking more time than anticipated to write it as I realized that the post subjects were numerous with no fluid nore coherent streak to it. And so It made me late to my monthly publishing set date, as I really wanted to work more on it and make it as simple and easy as possible to read and understand. My apologies!!!
My HUMANITY!!!
Humanity is a word that is so broad, so extensive and so wide. It wouldn’t be possible for me to address all that is included in its extensiveness. And so even though this post might look and feel a little bit of a Pêle-mêle one, it is all correlated.
Therefore I will try to make it a clear and coherent Pêle-mêle.
It might be weird to start with this but this here is one of the stones that had grounded me in my humanity and its values.
I believe I was around 9 years old when one day I asked myself What I would do if my mother would abuse my father and if my father would abuse my mother? What would I do if one of them would abuse the other? What would be my standpoint?
It was quickly clear to me that I would not caution neither of the abuse/situation, IF it were to ever happen in the future.
What was important for me with that rhetorical question, was to equalize both of them, put them both on an equal stand, on a status of equality and to not discriminate either, for a practical equal treatment always. So I anchored that decision and that thought in me and made it an important value while growing up, applying it in other contexts.
But at the time, I was not fully conscious of the type of relationship balance or the type of power balance that had been constructed, at some point of society history, and that was ( is) still in place in society. I most definitely had no idea it was so imbalanced, unjust with unjustifiable and illogical underlying reasons.
I still kept my equality decision, value and balance. Well, I think I did!!
Nonetheless, It was only after I became conscious of the inequalities through observations of my surroundings that I started noticing the specific and extended rights and freedom boys my age were given and Men in general had. They were also more knowledgeable of those rights and freedom. Versus Girls and Women, who were less knowledgeable of all of the rights they had NATURALLY and they had more duties than rights, with less freedom. The disparity was being taught as being ‘’normal’’. And for women, what were their duties, were more taught to them than what were their rights and freedom or in some cases, the duties they did or had, were taught as being their rights.
While wanting to understand more about that disparity that was made ‘’to-be-accepted’’ by all the members of society, mainly upon the basis of biological and/or physiological differences between Men and Women, I started analyzing the discrimination system and structure that was established in society.
Inevitably, pretty soon, one starts to question and pay more attention to what I have regrouped into three(3) categories, established in society, that are 1-the form/conception of gender/human definition, 2-Roles construction system and 3- Work distribution/attribution concept.
So stuff like what a ‘’Man’’ or a ‘’Woman’’ is supposed to be, how each is supposed to be, who each is supposed to be, what each is supposed to do, not to mention how each is supposed to look like.
To me, specifically in the case of the Work distribution/attribution design and a little bit of the Roles construction system, two of the issues are that first, their conception is very static and second, it has unfortunately been crystallized through time, in its day-to-day application, partly because of the narrow and limitative conception of gender/human definition and roles construction system established. For example: Having and perpetuating a discourse forbidding Men to cook, clean and care or a discourse limiting Women to specific work and development areas, or a discourse devaluing one when they do the discourses exact opposite, to me, is clearly so counterproductive, countergrowth/advancement/movingforward, counter-life-adaptive for society. And that condemns society’s future in the long term run.
Consequently, the following questions come to mind: How can you(Men) forbid yourself(Men) from doing the thing-s/activity-ies/task-s that LITERALLY feed your own body with the nutrients you(Men) ABSOLUTELY, UNQUESTIONABLY require, to live, to work and do so much more essential things? Why would you(Men) want to have such a limitative definition of self, trapping yourself in a ”provider and protector ONLY and EXCLUSIVELY” definition, instead of the whole, full human one that you are anyways? What for? How and why can one limit women in who they are, who they want to be, what they can do, what they can be and contribute to society and in the choices they want to make by themselves.
Although I believe I did get a sense of the answer to the Why? and What for? , for me, the work distribution/attribution system between humans, genders or members of society as well as roles construction needs to be dynamic, versatile, interactive and interchangeable/switchable. The simplest reason I saw for it: One does not know what tomorrow holds. Society needs to be able to adapt quickly or as quickly as possible to environment changes, ecosystems changes, life changes.
Organizing and Distributing work in a society is not at all an issue or the issue here. On the contrary, it is necessary. An individual on his/her own will naturally have to organize the work that needs to be done, in order to optimally fulfill her/his needs with the resources they have.
So with some reflection, you understand that there is more than one way to organize a society, there has always been a very wide diversity of organizing systems and structures actually, and as such, you understand that the current system is not necessarily the best one. I believe we have had better (to be inquired)
I do intend to elaborate more about the unjustifiable and illogical underlying reasons later, which is intrinsically linked to the given gender/human definitions, roles construction and work distribution/attribution.
To finish with, I find this quote provides, for a future post, a good introduction and sneak peek on understanding, deconstructing and changing the current major Roles construction system.
<<… C’est vrai, mais c’est l’homme qui a choisi de se valoriser uniquement par son rôle de pourvoyeur pendant trop longtemps. Si socialement on s’était valorisé par le relationnel, on nous valoriserait ainsi aujourd’hui.>> Mathieu I.
<<… It is true, but it is the man (Men) who chose to value himself only by his role of provider for too long. If we had valued ourselves socially through relationships, we would be valued this way today.>> Mathieu I.
And this helps me restore my Humanity.
NB: As an afriikaan heir, as a Gurmantche child, I know that there were other limitative systems, to say the least, that were constructed, in order to establish, appose and attach an external definition of me(not only), upon me(not only). Over time, looking at it over the shoulder, those systems became an attempt to internalize into me(not only) an outsourced/outside/extrinsic definition of me(not only) and make it ‘’true’’ for me(not only). But this will be for another time, another publication :). Although, those were quickly easy to mentally free self from and deconstruct.
Balg Bonciɛnn 🙏🏿
Thank you for reading, caring and sharing
Min Diɛ b – Yendu fin yen Balg
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