With a few late days, today’s post is about the book ‘’LA SEXUALITÉ FÉMININE EN AFRIQUE: domination masculine et libération féminine’’ written by Sami Tchak. It is not going to be a form of ‘’book review’’, more like what the book has taught me. The author Sami Tchak is from Togo and a former philosophy professor.
This is the first book that I purchased specific to Togo, its population, culture and society. In the book, Mr. Tchak talks obviously about sexuality but also infidelity, polygamy, domestic violence, sexuality habits and morals and much more. The book content is in part based on his observations and questioning about Women/Men social behaviors and on interactions between them, and also based on talks and interviews he did. For me the book is very appealing, not only because it contains so much richness, which nourishes questions, a reflection and rethinking of the culture, but also because it gives me another perspective on the culture for at least the last 40 years. It will definitely not be possible in one post to cover the entire book, so much so that the book provides numerous events and examples.
But since it was more a particular event described in his book that interested me in the first place and definitely not the title’s subject, I think this post will actually be a concealed Part I:La sexualité féminine en Afrique by Sami Tchak, about that primary event plus some other picked parts. And just to emphasize about the valuable content of the book, the primary event, called Phénomène Aguégué, is actually described in the preamble, way before the Introduction section starts.
Mr. Tchak:
‘’[…] Women judged with a little more hindsight the cultural foundations of the social hierarchies between the different age groups and between the two sexes, they did not necessarily challenge the social order that legitimizes the fate of women […]’’. With this statement, Mr. Tchak still didn’t understand the compliance of the women to the social and cultural order that they were criticizing. He explains that most of them were choosing to stay quiet to avoid the anger of parents, social rejection and ostracization.
At the time, several hundred Togolese women left for Nigeria to work and prostitute themselves. In 1983, Nigerian authorities sent back African men and women, in irregular situation. Women that were deported or came back on their own and were then called Aguégué women in some circles. That name attested to their ‘’nasty’’ life. As Mr. Tchak was living in Lomé back then, he used to go to the port or the train station to watch them being ‘’poured’’ onto the place. And so not only would they be laughed at, but they would be imprisoned by a government minister and proclaimed the ‘’shame of the ethnic group’’. That same government minister would then ask to have their heads completely shaved. They were then called Aguégué Sakora, ‘’Sakora’’ meaning ‘’Shaved head’’ in Kotokoli language, in the prefecture of Sokodé. So the shaved women would then be brought into a sacred forest in Koma, where their parents/family or husbands would come take them back, when each woman was being called. Naturally, as those women’s heads were now shaved, they were easily recognized and so they had to continue to bear the humiliation while facing the stare of society upon them.
This was my first time hearing and learning about this unfortunate, degrading set of events that these women experienced. But I was somewhat happily surprised by the reflection and questions that followed the description that Mr. Tchak did.
So he then mentions the following important thing ‘’Everybody knew that most of these women were leaving their homes and/or children and parents only because they had material difficulties. Some being indebted, others because they needed to prepare the trousseau before the birth of a child, or for others, because of the difficulties aggravated by polygamy, etc., they were seduced by the possibility of a better life by emigrating […] They worked in very harsh conditions and took refuge in sex like others in alcohol or drugs. They put their lives at risk to help their families, their children and, in many cases, their husbands as well. Who ignores the need for income from emigration in the survival, production and reproduction of certain families in Africa and elsewhere in poor countries?
But throwing the first stone at them obscured the social and economic problems that their migration brought to light. We preferred to humiliate them because women always have a fault to expiate at the bottom of their body. […] While observing these women, who have become the rejects of our society, the sexual double standard became even clearer to me. What they were accused of most of all, was to have displayed their infidelities insofar as they were openly prostituting themselves elsewhere, while most of them were married in Togo. It should be noted that although they were married in Togo, many of them married a second husband in Nigeria for greater material security. […] They were accused of sleeping with several men, sacrificing the sacred laws of marriage.
[…] However in the same milieu some men sleep with their mistresses in the marital bed, where they sleep with their wives, in full view of them. In this environment, in addition to the frustrations of supporting at least one co-wife, sometimes in very cramped quarters, many women also support their husband’s mistresses. Sometimes they are beaten by their husbands if they express their jealousy beyond what they are allowed to do. In this environment, many men do not hesitate to court even women whose husbands they know. […] Could these men judge the sexual morals of women? […] These women were accused of having spread in the society a poison fatal to the virtues. But, they were only highlighting the evolution of the morals of our populations. They forced society to look itself in the eyes, to look at its own shame.
Obviously I have selected only portions of the text, linked to the Phénomène Aguégué, that spoke to me particularly. There is a lot to say about it. And to start with, for me the hindsight that the women had, is basically reflections and questionings about the discrimination practices based on gender, age and social origin. A hindsight naturally implies a re-examination, reconsideration of practices in any culture, which is a good thing, born from observations of events and practices that do not seem right to one. And that re-examination ideally leads to a will and goal to bring a change. Unfortunately in this case, the human need to belong, along with the fear to suffer parents’ anger, compelled instead the women to comply with the discriminating practices. Unfortunately the act of shaving the women’s heads and exposing them, was explicitly an offense to their dignity and their integrity as Human Beings.
I do like the mention of Mr. Tchak about society’s difficulty to face the outcome of its social and economic bad structure and conjuncture. And not only the women are already suffering from that bad structure/conjuncture, as they also bear responsibilities of their children, families and themselves, but they have to face on top of that the gender double standards and discriminations. One of my favorite question asked by Mr. Tchak, to society and to ourselves, is: Could these men judge the sexual morals of women?’’ knowing that there are men in that same society who would sleep with their mistresses in the marital bed, where they sleep with their wives and go as far as court even women whose husbands they know.
So let’s ask again: ‘’Could these men judge the sexual morals of women?’’. There is no doubt about the answer: NO.
Anyone who answers yes, is only reinforcing an evident hypocrisy of society.
I, myself, have also wondered many times: Why are they the ones judging the sexual morals of women, with all the foul behavior they display?
And this whole situation poses also, what I think is one of the root problems of women not being also recognized, viewed, perceived and treated; 1) plainly as Human beings and 2) as Sexual beings.
- When society fails at the simple duty/task of seeing women as humans in the first place, inevitably the same human rights acknowledged for one group of humans, will be stripped away for another human group within the same society. Thus leaving the rights-stripped-away group of humans feeling that injustice, that inequality, even though they share those common traits in Humanity.
- Even if Mr. Tchak stated that ‘’They (women) become more visible as objects exposed to desires and as subjects that desire’’ on page 23, back then, author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie refers to it as still being a problem today, when she says ‘’We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are’’. But of course these two statements cannot be analyzed in direct comparison, on the same basis, as one is much more specific to a particular ethnic group, whereas Mrs. Adichie’s statement seems to be more of a global evidence. Recognizing Women also as being ‘’Sexual Beings’’ means knowing that they are subjects that desire as well as being object of desire. And being a subject that desires, for me, certainly removes one from under the ‘’dominated being’’ status that lies with a-one-and-only ‘’object of desire’’ status.
YES, it frees and is called Freedom 🙂
All my sincere apologies for the very late post. Nevertheless I enjoyed writing it.
What are your thoughts about this post. Please share 🙂
Thank you, Balg Bonciɛnn 🙏🏿
Min Diɛ b – Yendu fin yen Balg
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